Voting and Cows
Be sure to go VOTE today....
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you
voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to
manage his cow.
REPUBLICAN (May NOT be entirely true)
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you
with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.
DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have
to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has
only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts
stating you have
downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where
they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful
woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42
cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12
cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.
You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last
3 months.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one
best, vote for the Black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at
all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state
tell you which is the best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the
leader of the herd,
so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas